Called Off?!?!

I was prepared for my psychiatrist appointment this morning, for a change. With the help of my bipolar bloggers, namely Ruby and Manic Monday, especially when referring to the post The Case of the M&M Interactions.

I had determined that my medicine is not right for my current symptoms. I’m cycling faster and faster. And the irritability has returned. I’m not grumpy – I’m flat out pissed. And I’m always a ticking time bomb as a result. I can’t sleep at night and it’s hard to be motivated in the day. This med check, as annoying as they usually are, was absolutely necessary.

My doctor is located about 15 miles away, so it’s quite a trek to get there, and usually very inconvenient in my busy schedule. I arrived early only to discover that my doctor had just called off 10 minutes ago. It was absolutely enraged. I had dragged myself out of bed extra early, called my mother out to sit while T.D. slept, inconvenienced my husband to take me up there before he went to work only to be sent away. WTF?!?! I know things come up. But there was absolutely no consideration for his patients.

To make matters worse, I had to sit and wait an unacceptable amount of time to be rescheduled. Where is the level of professionalism in that office? I watched the minutes pass and knew that if I didn’t get out of there soon, C.S. would be late for work. And even worse than all of that, I had to push to be scheduled before my medicine ran out. That left me to be scheduled with Nurse Betty. I know what she’s going to say. The same thing she says every time I have a complain about my medicine, “We’ll keep you on these medications and see what happens. I’ll have you scheduled in a month with the doctor.” UGH! Why bother?! Wait, oh yeah. They are holding my medicine hostage.

I really hate doctors. Seriously.

3 thoughts on “Called Off?!?!

  1. “Holding my medicine hostage.” I can totally relate to that. Can you switch Dr’s? That’s what I did. Hope you can get it all ironed out. Hang in there.

    • “Holding my medicine hostage” – that should have been the title. (I’ll keep that in my pocket.) Every doctor has done that to me with some kind of ridiculous contingency. I once had to go to a community clinic where the contingency to even having an appointment with the doctor was going to appointments with the social worker first. Yup, they didn’t even dignify that with the requirement of seeing a licensed psychologist. Ugh. Not that I don’t believe in the power of therapy. It’s just that it never worked for me. And a social worker is really a pitiful excuse for the trained professional a person with bipolar disorder really needs.

      I’ve been through so many doctors, so I know how to go through the pros and cons. It’s practice policy that they aren’t allowed to call in more than a month supply without a med check. I respect that, especially when I’m down to only checking in every three months. As for the rest of it, here’s how I have it broken down:

      Con: My doctor couldn’t care any less about his patients in any other terms than the effectiveness of treatment. You can’t joke with this man. You can’t get personal with this man. He is a wall of silence.

      Pro: My doctor listens to and respects opinions about what medications a patient has considered and does and does not want to take. He doesn’t force medicine on you and he prescribes it freely.

      Con: My doctor is constantly booked, is very inflexible with his schedule, and is always late. It is really inconvenient.

      Pro: My doctor doesn’t BS and doesn’t require a patient to see a therapist in conjunction with pharmacological therapy.

      Although the pros and cons are evenly matched, the pros carry far more weight. So I’ll deal with the cons to gain the benefit of his particular brand of psychiatry. That is basically, “I’ll throw whatever pills they want at them with little contingency so I get paid and they’ll go away.” Works for me. I don’t need anyone meddling with my mind, my body, or my life more than they have to. And above all, I will have the final say come hell or high water.

      And that’s why I put up with this crap.

  2. Pingback: Holding My Medicine Hostage « As the Pendulum Swings

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