About My Bipolar II

Me? Call me Lulu. I’m a seemingly regular woman who lives, works as a teacher, and raises a family in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. With the exception that I have Bipolar Disorder II. That changes everything.

It was a long, rocky, lonely road to get where I am now. I became symptomatic when I was about 12. After attempts by my family and me to hide my condition, I was finally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at 15. I was treated for four years when I gave up. The treatment wasn’t working and I couldn’t afford it anymore.

For five more years, I self-medicated to the point of functional alcoholism. That was until I became pregnant with my son.

I had postpartum psychosis. Something was very wrong. Six months after having my son, I sought help. I was then, finally, diagnosed correctly. After several doctors, I was properly medicated. Although, it only eases symptoms, rather than curing them.

I have Bipolar Disorder. It is an illness that I will have for the rest of my life. And this blog is seeing the world through these bipolar eyes.

9 thoughts on “About My Bipolar II

  1. Pingback: Lulu – The Start of Something New | A Canvas Of The Minds

  2. Psychosomatic. Brutal isn’t it? I was psychosomatic in 2008 and 2009, I was in denial of my illness and out of fear, left my marriage. Biggest mistake of my life. I literally was dying daily.
    I am glad you finally got your diagnosis, it’s a relief to finally “know”, and to accept.
    Keep the good fight. ๐Ÿ™‚ It is inspiring to all of us.

    • All of the awful things that came from my undiagnosed disorder have lead me to where I am now. I don’t know if I would be the same person if I didn’t go through all of that.

      There are some very wonderful things that happened as a result. I got into a relationship with a long time friend, recklessly got engaged after three months, and married six months after that. Hilariously enough, I ended up getting pregnant right after I was fitted for my wedding dress. My son has always had impeccable timing. So, six months after our wedding, our son was born. I really think that if it wasn’t for hypomania, I might have thought those things through, and none of this would be today.

      It was a rocky ride getting here though. I’m just glad to be standing on flat ground now. My only hope is that my story could be a source of strength and inspiration to others. I’m not perfect. I’m just any other woman you would pass on the street. But, underneath is a wealth of experience and a torrent of emotion.

  3. Lulu, I found your blog through comments you’ve posted here and there. I don’t live with bipolar myself, my wife is. But I have been looking for other blogs pertaining about the disorder to keep on learning about its many faces.

    I’ll be reading yours from this point on.

    • I appreciate your sentiment. I am hardly picturesque of Bipolar Disorder, but I would be more than happy to have you along for the journey.

      Honestly, I realize that it must be difficult to live with a spouse who has Bipolar Disorder. And I commend you for your dedication in seeking real life accounts. There is so much that a doctor and therapist just can’t relate to patients and the patient’s loved ones. And it is difficult to come to terms with, I’m sure. My husband, after almost three years since my diagnosis, is finally coming to understand it, and is learning how to help me cope.

      That’s the hardest part, the time it takes to learn. My husband was used to shutting people out when he’s been harmed. Shutting me out is alienation that leads to isolation. Sometimes, being alone with myself in certain states is the worst thing that can happen. Recipe for disaster.

      Feel free to look around. Ask any questions you like. I am happy to lend my perspective anytime.

      • Thank you, Lulu. You hit the nail on the head: therapists have been really helpful, and we’re lucky to have such a great team around us, both for my wife and I. Reading about others’ experience though has brought a closer understanding of bipolar, and more than anything, knowing you are not alone in this makes it much, much better.

  4. This blog is amazing. I know the ultimate point is not style and layout…but this is one of the best looking blogs I have seen. Seems like most of our bipolar blogs tend to look more like the insides of our minds! ๐Ÿ˜€

    This looks like great stuff. Looking forward to journeying together.

    Always encouraged when I see others utilizing their platform to unite, care, grow, and encourage.


    • Hey thanks! Really, I think one of the worst and best things that happened for my BP was a manifestation of some kind of anxiety something. I don’t have a Dx, and honestly, I don’t want it. But, it makes me a little neurotic. I like things to be pleasant to the eye, and completely functional. Unlike me, LOL!

      I have certain things and one of them is organization. Everything in it’s right place and whatnot.

      I’m glad we could make each others acquaintance! I’m all about expanding as far out into the community as possible. I want to touch base with everyone with a Dx, you know? Kind of like family ๐Ÿ™‚

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