The 99 Quirks of Lulu


This is the compilation of two installations of The 99 Quirks of Lulu: I’m Going to Die in the Walmart Parking Lot and This Jewdistian Doesn’t Believe in Creationism.

  1. I can only wear found or gifted jewelry. If I wear jewelry that I bought for myself, it always either breaks or gets lost.
  2. When sitting in a public place, I try to position myself so it would be difficult for a person to come up from behind me. We’s don’t want no surprises. No, seriously though. I’m pretty paranoid.
  3. I can’t make eye contact when I’m telling a story. It’s not symptomatic of anything. I just can’t take in any visual information when I’m trying to give out verbal information.
  4. I have to have a minimal amount of background noise when I’m working on something. The more tedious and repetitive the task is, the more sound I require.
  5. I have serious claustrophobia. I hate elevators. I will walk six flights of stairs to avoid it (I’ve done it). I have nightmares about getting trapped in a tiny space. No matter how badly I want to get home, I’ll let a crowded bus pass to get on a later, less crowded one.
  6. I am obsessed with office supplies. I cannot resist a sale. I hoard them.
  7. I am so particular about my pens that I will only use specific brands, with gel ink, and only in 0.7 tip.
  8. I have been wearing the same Capricorn pendant for 10 years. C.S. bought me a Taurus pendant at a craft sale 4 years ago and I haven’t taken it off since. I’m very superstitious about it. Every time I forgot to put it back on, something bad has happened. Last time was C.S.’s car accident.
  9. I practice natal astrology. It can peg a person every time.
  10. I put my hand in front of my mouth a lot. Ethology would call me a liar. But really, I’m just trying to hide.
  11. I have a really difficult time lying. It produces an intolerable physical response, so I don’t do it unless I really have to protect myself.
  12. I’ve bitten my bottom lip since I had teeth. I have pictures to prove it.
  13. I am so particular about shoes that I only buy tennis shoes every three years. And that’s after they start taking on water. This is partially because my feet are abnormally wide, although they’re not very big. It takes a lot to find a comfortable, stylish shoe.
  14. I honestly believe I’m going to die in some ridiculous, unbelievable accident or situation. I have this scenario about how I’m going to die in the Walmart parking lot. If you want to hear about it, ask in the comment section.
  15. The numbers 1, 5, and 14 follow me everywhere. The bus number I’m on – 5157. I’m on a bus everyday that starts with 51. My birthday 1/14. My husband’s birthday 5/14. Just strange as hell. Coincidentally, no lie, this just happened to be 15!
  16. I am a camel. I can hold it for hours on end. Longest held? 16 hours. I was 13, and stuck in a car with my parents on the way to Florida who refused to stop until we got there. By Virginia, everything below my waist was numb.
  17. I have always had a problem regulating body functions. I can’t fall asleep, and then I can’t wake up. I am always thirsty, but I have difficulty knowing when I’m hungry. Sometimes, if I’m busy enough, I’ll forget to eat until I have hunger pains.
  18. I have an incredible internal clock. I always know what time it is. Or maybe I’m just very observant of the position of the sun.
  19. I yell at inanimate objects.
  20. I can get a vibe from someone and know instantly if we’re incompatible. I don’t discriminate. I can be on the phone or over the internet and know.
  21. It is in the way a person addresses me.
  22. I am the only person that does the dishes and folds the laundry. It has to be done in a certain way. My clothes have to be sorted by graphic tee’s, solid tees, and color. My jeans are assorted by thickness.
  23. I have twilight blindness. I can’t see things correctly during that time of day.
  24. I carry my person journal on my person at all times.  You never know when you’ll be inspired.  You also never know when someone wants to take a peek at your dirty little secrets.
  25. I used to make wishes.  My wishes have always come true, but in a Twilight Zone kind of way.  There was always some kind of catch that ruined it all.  Remember the episode about the man who just wanted to be left alone to read his books?  And he got his wish, but then his glasses broke and he was all alone.  It’s a lot like that.  So I don’t anymore because I know there will be consequences.
  26. I have a cat that wipes my tears away when I cry.  He paws my face without claws. (He passed away since this was written.)
  27. I think it’s ridiculous to give a kid a weird first name.  So, in case my kid want a weird name, I gave him a weird middle name.
  28. I think the most random thoughts.  For instance, my husband and I were once talking about daily activities that burn calories.  I asked him, “How many calories do you think a seizure burns?”  Today, we were talking about how we were going to manage to find a girlfriend for another friend.  He’s kind of nerdy, so I said, “Maybe I should start telling these girls he has money?  Do you think that would help?  It worked for Bill Gates!  How much money does someone have to have before they stop being a nerd?”  Honestly, I want to know these things.
  29. Flashing lights drive me nuts.  Imagine me verses a strobe light.  I have a message indicator that is driving me crazy on my voicemail right now.  But I just don’t feel like listening to it.
  30. I have to sleep with my feet outside of the covers.  My feet are my temperature control.  If they’re too hot, then I’m too hot.
  31. I am almost always barefoot when I can help it.  You see, my depth perception is terrible.  In order to not trip and fall all of the time, I use the sensations in my feet to guide me.
  32. I count stairs.  I can tell you the amount of stairs that are on every stairwell that I encounter frequently.  13 in my house.  14 in my parent’s basement and 16 to the upstairs.  And 10 each going up each floor at work, with eight leading into the building.
  33. Every clock I have that isn’t set to a satelight is set randomly ahead.  I don’t know the real time, so I have to assume that what I’m looking at is the real time.  This is how I trick myself into being early.
  34. I am an organizational freak, not a neat freak.  Everything in it’s right place.  I want to know where I can find anything on a moments notice.
  35. I am extremely scheduled.  I have to do things at certain times or else my day isn’t going to go right.
  36. I am obsessed with the weather.  Especially during hurricane season.  It is absolutely fascinating.
  37. I collect odd things from places I travel to.  In fact, I have sand from Myrtle Beach in a baby food jar with a little ceramic turtle with a little straw hat sitting on my desk.  I went to a theme park in California that was selling as many rocks as you could fit in a tiny bag with a drawstring.  I have a collection of decorative boxes from various places.
  38. Old world maps tickle my fancy.  It’s amazing to see how differently people viewed the world in those days.
  39. I believe in the power of hematite.  Hematite supposedly absorbs negative energy.  To clear the energy from the hematite, you bury it in the ground for several days to return it back to the earth.  I actually had a hematite ring shatter once.  I was going through a really bad time.
  40. I cannot spill a drink without freaking out about it.
  41. I hate the smell of raw onions.  It is intolerable.
  42. Perfume is my best friend.  I have this fear that I smell bad.  So everything I use is scented.  Lotion, bodywash, shampoo, deodorant, body spray, perfume, anything you can name.
  43. I don’t like wearing jeans.  I prefer skirts and what would be considered a house dress.  But, I live in Pennsylvania and we have two seasons here.  Winter and construction, also known as summer.  Jeans are required dress. (I wrote this before I wrote The Grey Season.)
  44. I cannot stand getting my face went unless I’m fully submerged.  That means, I hate any kind of precipitation, with the exception of a good summer downpour.  Now that’s a way to get wet!
  45. I can’t stand when my husband uses my toothbrush or razor.  So I intentionally buy pink colored items so he doesn’t use them.  It’s not manly.
  46. Everytime I dye my hair, I always have to do a trim.  So, I take a sample of the hair and I keep it in a ziplock with the date on it.  That way, I can always keep an assessment of my hair color at any period of time.
  47. I like having certain imperfections.  My hair is cut choppy and asymmetrical with a weird part for a reason.  I love the scars that I didn’t inflict upon myself.  I have stretch marks all over my body for various reasons (growth spurts, pregnancy, etc).  I love when my dark blonde roots come in against my white blonde hair.  And I especially love my eyes.  They are each split in half in color.  One part is green-gold and the other part is blue grey.  Maybe people think I look like a mess, but I think I look real.
  48. The noise of someone biting their nails is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Ugh.
  49. I can predict the weather based on previous injuries.  When my hips and knees hurt, a serious storm is coming.  I’ve never been wrong.
  50. Pickles. There can never be enough pickles!
  51. I eat something with peanut butter in it every day.
  52. I always take note when I notice the clock says 12:34.
  53. I obsessively listen to music until I know all of the words to the song.
  54. I obsessively watch television shows and movies in the same way.
  55. I believe in toilet snakes. I always check the toilet before I sit down.
  56. I have an unnatural love of cemeteries.
  57. I always write in cursive. But it’s a severely bastardized version of cursive that combines some print.
  58. With two exceptions, I have lived on the same street my entire life.
  59. With two exceptions, I’ve worked on the same street in my life.
  60. I cannot use touch screen phones. I think I emit some kind of electrostatic charge that messes with electronics.
  61. Street lights used to constantly go out as I walked under them. Weird.
  62. I have a shower ritual. I wash top down for maximum cleanliness. I’ll keep it short and sweet so we don’t venture into the land of TMI. Shampoo, exfoliate, rinse, shampoo, rinse, conditioner, body wash, shave, rinse, rinse.
  63. I tack 15 minutes onto the estimated duration of everything I do. It takes me 10 minutes to walk to the bus stop, but I’ll allot 25 minutes.
  64. Confession alert! I fib to my Pdoc and tell him I’m taking a higher dose than I’m actually taking. Reason: I’m squirreling away medicine in case my insurance gets cancelled.
  65. I wear my socks inside out because I can’t stand the seam.
  66. I refuse to vacuum unless it’s absolutely unavoidable. I hate, hate, hate the sound.
  67. The more nervous I get, the more make-up I pile on.
  68. I compulsively scratch the plaque off of my teeth.
  69. I triple check myself before I leave the house for work. Do I have everything I could possibly need?
  70. I think it’s cute when old guys hit on me. Come on, they’re over 70 and usually married. What’s the harm?
  71. I am extremely sentimental. I keep the oddest things. I have a memory board packed with odds and ends. Coasters from great dates, ticket stubs from awesome movies, etc.
  72. Typically, I won’t answer phone calls that aren’t a 412 area code. But I’ll always answer phone calls that start with my local prefix.
  73. When I use a public restroom, I try to use the third stall in. Here’s my logic. Most people will use the first stall, if available, for convenience. People like me will know that and go for the second one or the last one. So, I use the middle one – less germy and nasty.
  74. I keep track of everything. I have a drawer for paid bills, pay stubs, insurance info, etc. I have another drawer for work to keep old lesson plans, attendance rosters, and my professional portfolio. I have calendars with notes and post it’s everywhere.
  75. I keep junk. You know, for arts and crafts. I think it’s green.
  76. Well, you all know about how I like to invent new words. I don’t consider it bastardizing the English language. I think of it as expanding it.
  77. I get very irritated with that text language people use. I can’t read it!
  78. I loathe gymnasiums. Every Tuesday, when I’m assigned to go to the gym, I literally cringe. I still have dodgeball flashbacks, I guess.
  79. I have a system of predicting outcomes. I think of the absolute worst case scenario (WCS) and the best case scenario (BCS). Then, I think of the 2nd WCS, and the 2nd BCS. Usually, it comes out 2WCS. I bank on it.
  80. Did I mention that I have unusually bad luck? Very unusually bad things happen to me. A drunk driver crashed into the front of my house. No, I don’t live on a curve or a corner and the clearances on either side of my house are about 3 feet.
  81. I believe that everyone get allotted one movie moment a year. By movie moment, I’m talking about that one moment where something good happens that defies all odds.
  82. I can sing by ear. I can pick both melodies and harmonies in songs.
  83. I’m completely paranoid that someone in my household is going to get into a life threatening accident when I’m not present.
  84. I teach my kid swear words. I mean, I’d rather my kid be in the back of the bus telling the other kids than the other way around.  Told you I shouldn’t be a role model.
  85. I am in love with suede.
  86. I still have my comfort object from when I was a child. She is a small purple rabbit and her name is Furry. She is still kind of a comfort object.
  87. I like carrying a heavy bag with me everywhere I go. I have to travel with everything but the kitchen sink to feel prepared.
  88. I still prefer cursive to print.
  89. My short-term memory is shot. Did I say that yet? Gotta love Lamictal!
  90. I wrap myself in a fleece throw when I’m feeling depressed. It’s as close as I can get to a hug.
  91. I think I lived a past life, mostly in the 60’s and 70’s. I gravitate toward culturally relevant things from that time.
  92. I am a Jewdistian.
  93. I kickbox appliances. I hope they don’t start fighting back.
  94. Horror movies don’t bother me. Disaster movies are terrifying. 2012 was the scariest movie I’ve ever seen.
  95. Ok, I’m totally getting locked up in the loony bin for this one. I believe that ancient aliens genetically modified the homonids on this planet to create homoeretus.
  96. I mouth the words to songs in public while listening to music. I’m not talking about in my car. I’m talking about doing it on the streets of Downtown Pittsburgh.
  97. When I’m feeling insecure, I sleep in a ball near the foot of my bed.
  98. I very seriously fear a zombie apocalypse.
  99. I will never eat the last of anything.
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23 thoughts on “The 99 Quirks of Lulu

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    • You’ve inspired me. I think I’ll attempt pickling next harvest season. There are no cucumbers left from the garden this year. As for preference in pickles, I have none. Though, you are right about the Vlasic pickles. They were on sale last week 2 for something or another. I bought the snacker pickles for me and the pickle chips for T.D. I’m less than impressed.

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  4. I’have just read your first 10 of ’99 quirks of Lulu’ , I think I will come here again to read next 10 more 🙂
    It’s very good the way You recognize Your self. This is interesting … yes it is!
    ( perhaps I can do this things as good as You :), so more I know who I am exactely 🙂 )

    • There’s so many interesting facets of my own self that make me want to explore them. What’s the norm? Do others share this too? It makes me want to know what is unique to me and what function it serves. I already figured out the peanut butter part in The Mood Swing Diet. Is there a reason to anything else?

  5. Now that’s an “About” page :D.

    Number 17 sounds familiar… I am convinced that I had seen every one of my three (or was that four…maybe five) car accidents before they happened (sometimes weeks before).

    Number 49…I’m the local weather station at home. If I’m limping and growning, my family gets out the rain-coats and umbrellas

    Toilet snakes!!! I thought I was crzy… Glad to know that I am the one that’s normal and it’s the rest of the world that needs padded rooms 😉

    Sorry, but my songs has no words to them 😛

    Ooh! ooh! I do number 82 but only on the piano

    Haha, Lamictal…tell me about it…

    I take my hat off to you for knowing your self so well … but then again, prying PDoc’s can tend to do that 😉

    • Number seventeen seems to be a recurring theme among people with Bipolar Disorder. I’ve always felt that there are always several biological components that go into a disorder. For instance, people with Autism Spectrum Disorder often have digestive problems. People with Bipolar Disorder seem to have difficulty keeping time. And it’s not just keeping the same circadian rhythm as typical brained folk. It’s keeping a recognizable one at all.

      Now, we get back to the chicken and the egg question. Which begets which? Does the lack of rhythm create disorder or is it the nature of the disorder itself that disturbs the rhythm?

      I was actually just talking to my husband about the toilet snakes. I figured out how I got that one just now, oddly enough. When I was little, we used to go to camp where there were outhouses. And someone told me about the toilet snakes. The bathroom in my parent’s basement was really, really scary as a kid. It was there that the toilet snakes were born (in my head).

      I have an unusual aptitude for music (82). (One of) My current side projects is remixing my favorite 80’s and 90’s songs into something more modern and suited for my voice. A key change can go a long way!

      This actually took more time to put together than it looks, but less than someone would guess. I just kind of took a flying leap at the first one, and went from there. I think I got about 20 to 25 in before I started to lose steam. And by 60-something, I was really limping along. I could come up with really generic things (refuses to sleep with covers over my feet), but it was getting harder to find the rarer ones.

      Believe this or not, my Pdoc and I don’t talk about anything personal. I’m in there for 15 minutes talking about symptoms and medication every so often. And that’s it. I’m not currently in any therapist guided therapy, and I’m only now resigning myself to the fact that I need professional help for some things that may have gone undiagnosed, because I didn’t talk to a therapist for anything more than an eval.

      This is all a result of carefully excavated remnants of things that kind of stuck. Which is funny, because being a person with Bipolar Disorder, I end up like teflon. It’s as if I’m never really sure what’s going to end up as a permanent fixture.

  6. 99 is for stores where I find cheap perfume and toilet paper. 99 is for companies that want to charge $1.29 but don’t have the balls to do it. 99 is 21 less than God promised when he said, Genesis 6:3, יאָרן איר וועט לעבן120 ! I think i’m in a piss poor mood right now and i i don’t know why.

    But your okay in my book any time!

    Oh! Its because i can’t remember what i wrote 30 seconds ago, let alone keep a list from 1 to 100.

    TD

  7. Circadian Rythm? What’s that… (just kidding). It does bring up a valid point though. In order to maintain a proper rythm, you need to get rid of the disorder, but in order to get rid of the disorder, you need to maintain a proper rythm

    We used to go caravaning a lot…I have a deep seated fear of “long drops”.

    I have been there with PDoc’s… Prior to being properly diagnosed, it was the same. “So how did it go this week?”…”Fine…”…”Feeling any different?”…”Shrug”…”Ok, well see you next week”.

    lol, I hear you on the teflon. The only thing that is permanent is that nothing is.

    • Seriously. But, it’s like you fix one thing and break another. It’s like bad piping!

      I fear the long drops. But, I think I fear the uncontrollable flight more. The drops are something I’m familiar with. It’s kind of like cave diving versus flying an airplane. Two different things. Different dangers. One is just from a much greater height.

      Prior to being properly diagnosed, mine was more like, “Are you doing better?” “Yes and no.” “So you are?” “Kind of, but not really.” “Good enough! See you in six months!” My Pdoc is not nearly that careless. He just follows the biological model. There is no need to hear about my latest stressors, etc. If I feel like I can’t handle my life, it isn’t going to get any easier. Adjust the meds.

      I like it. I made this comment to someone else, but, I ended up getting vital medicine withheld because a Psych Nurse thought that I was just going through a stressful time. I could have skipped about six months worth of depressive hell if she would have prescribed me an antidepressant.

      Like another blogger originally said, “Consistently Inconsistent”! That’s the M.O.

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  9. I am so glad I read this! all bloggers should have a page like this. We are very opposite in a lot of ways yet in a lot of odd things we are simular. OMG! Would you be upset wit hme if I made a page of my quirks? I have many. I would like to make them known yet I don’t want to start blogging about them and causing a debate. I would like to have a page tucked into my blog with just a list, like this. I hope you don’t mind. Also I get vibes from persons I come in contact with, even on the internet. I get good vibes from you but I feel you have a switch. If someone is too interested in you, you want to escape lol I may be wrong. ButI hope I give you a fair vibe at least. lol

    • Absolutely not! Lol!

      This actually just happened as a joke. I started out with “I’m Going to Die in the Walmart Parking Lot” and went from there. Did I ever explain that irrational fear? I have dozens of irrational fears, going all the way from toilet snakes to an airplane crashing into my house, etc.

      Well, I made an off-handed remark to a friend a long time ago that I had this feeling that I was going to die young in some ridiculous fashion. It would be so like me. Tragic, and kind of funny, in a dark way.

      We got onto talking about our local Walmart. It was still kind of new at the time. We talked about how dangerously people drove in that parking lot. I related a story about how a friend of mine almost got hit by an older woman in a Jeep in another parking lot.

      I watched it. The woman backed out of the space at high speed. My friend jumped out of the way and cussed her. And she hit the car behind her. Then, she pulled forward a little and hit it again! She would’ve hit it a third time, but people were screaming by then.

      So, one night, around the time I wrote it, I almost got hit. I mean ran over right next to my own car! And this was a long time after any of those events happened.

      I still swear up and down that I’m going to die in the Walmart parking lot, mowed down by someone in a station wagon.

      I do have a switch, but it operates a little different than other people’s switches. I’ll let most people get to about an arm’s reach. I don’t usually pursue. But if someone wants to come around, it’s okay as long as they don’t get too close.

      It’s kind of like getting to know a feral cat. I’m good at “reading” someone face to face. I can read microexpressions on a person’s face. If a person’s body language doesn’t match what they are saying, it screams one of two things to me. Either they have a disorder, or they are a liar. (People with disorders typically have mismatching body language to expressive language. Usually because they are masking their own feelings, and not trying to feign anything.)

      Hiding emotional reactions and discomfort is one thing. Lying is another. If a person starts lying right off the bat, I close that door as fast as possible. Once a person lies to me, I can’t trust another word that comes out of their mouth.

      If a person comes on too strong, I assume there are alterior motives. I’m usually right.

      But, if a person just happens to identify with me on a deeper level, resonates with me by chance, I don’t run. It doesn’t matter how fast it happens. Sometimes, things click. They are supposed to.

      If a person can “know” me, despite all of the ridiculous armor I put on, then they get it. It doesn’t mean they’re not going to hurt me. It just means that they’re not going to hurt me for no good reason.

      That’s why I don’t give much anymore. I’ve been conned by two different people who likely had some kind of sociopathy. Both of them broke me in some way or another. It took a lot to get it back. I’m not about to get myself in a position where someone can hurt me like ever again.

      • Uh oh, I kind of already threw one together and posted it while waiting till I had to leave for the Dr. appt. If you really are offended, I will take it down if you want me to. ;-P That last paragraph you wrote there, I can relate to so much. I also have spicifically two persons in my past who have literally destroyed me. You are right, It does take along time to recover from what ppl will do. Sometimes you never fully do. I can’t believe I can still trust so easily sometimes. I get mad at myself for doing that. I don’t blame you for holding ppl at arms length. I probably still would to, but I don’t even put myself in a situation where I could.

        • Lol, no! I meant I wanted you to! Lolol! I knew this would happen. My fault, bad wording.

          I really think it’s something cool and a good exercise for those who are attempting to reconcile personality and symptoms!

          I can’t wait to read it! I’m just getting home from work!

          • yeah, that is one bad thing about communicating online and not being face to face lol. I am going to probably add to my list as I think of things. I have been researching mental illnesses and how symptoms connect and bblah blah and I am realizing some things about myself lol.

            • Me too. I stumbled upon a controversial link between BP and ASD. I had always had a feeling that they were two sides of the same coin.

              I want to know if other people with BP have difficulty with sensory integration. I have a noise sensitivity and a tactile dampening, like my son. It doesn’t seem coincidental to me. I’ve often wondered throughout my life if I was like my brother at all. It was extremely significant that we have some of the same hobbies / obsessions / interests / and behaviors. He keeps a journal, but in a different way. He was doing graphic art before I was, but in a different way. We both have obsessive behaviors when it comes to some things. And we both hoard / collect certain items.

              Again, something I’ll write about later. I took my sleep meds.

              I am so excited you want to do your own. It was so interesting to see what others had in common with me. These are things I have never had in common with anyone. Some are things I’ve gotten some very strange looks for. Lol.

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