Many people have a notion that “living in the moment” is the instant solution to unhappiness. It is absolutely true that the enormity of “the five year plan” and the bigger picture are often entirely too overwhelming. Also, it narrows our focus to the broad horizons, rather than the detail. In theory, it sounds like a preferable game plan.
But, what if that moment is just plain agonizing?
I have always considered myself to have ambition. But, when I became unexpectantly pregnant earlier than I considered, 13 weeks before my wedding, I ditched most of my ideas revolving around the master scheme. And as time progressed, and many of my plans did not pan out, living in the moment became the thing.
Besides, the bigger picture kind of dissolves while in the midst of an episode, because of the whole perceptual skewing. It’s hard to behold anything but a bleak and cumbersome future during a depressive episode, and anything but in a manic episode. I find I am particularly guilty of wild ambition while in Supergirl mode.
Momentary living becomes troublesome when the frame is microscoped on the current second I am living in. Sure, I enjoy little things more. But, every distressful thing starts to snag me. In the larger scope, it becomes a little easier to gloss over those minor setbacks and little slights. Little irritants become an unending source of rage, and I am more frazzled than ever.
My moments become a cage.
At the very least, I can zoom out now to the point where I can see a portion of the larger problem. Unfortunately, it provides such little perspective in which to solve the problem. The cage may be bigger, but I’m still in bondage.