I have never fancied myself a writer. This is much the same as I have never imagined myself a musician, a vocalist, and many other things that I have come to find as truth in my life. In all honesty, I’ve considered myself to be a dabbler, more of a Jack-of-all-Trades – master of none. Yes, there is an emphasis. This is not because I’m getting down on myself.
No, the focus of the emphasis is not on what I can’t do, but more of what I haven’t done. I have dabbled in so many disciplines, some would think it akin to something attention deficit. I have dedicated my focus, energy, and time (and sometimes some money) to the following:
- Musical instruments
- Music composition
- Music Education
- Creative writing
- Informational writing and advocacy
- Eco-friendly and Green Crafting
- Mental Health Advocacy
- Community programs
- Musical theater directing and production
- Autism Advocacy
- Human Development
- Human Behavior
- Computer Programming
- Computer Forensics
- RPG’s / Gaming
- Graphic Art
Perhaps it’s some serendipitous byproduct of Bipolar Disorder, or just who I am. I would be lying if I denied having the habit of starting things and not finishing them. There are a great deal of factors that go into that: lack of focus, growing disinterest, a block of some sort, lack of motivation, and lack of enthusiasm at times. It has given me a wealth of experience in many areas. However, the steep downside is that I have not remained consistent enough with any of the aforementioned activities to develop a solid level of mastery.
But to me, they are hobbies. Why would I need mastery in a hobby? It doesn’t bring me any fortune,
it is not my job , was not a keystone of a career. What is the point of having the hobby if I have completely mastered it? There is no joy, because there is no dabbling. There is no sense of discovery. The hobby becomes laborious, like a job. A hobby is certainly what I would consider to be the opposite of a job. Although I am one of those lucky people who took a hobby, a talent, a skill, and was able to turn it into gainful employment.
Back to my point. Today, I received an email from an eager non-profit organization that was looking for me to assist in promoting their organization’s activities for mental health advocacy. I thought to myself, “I did it. I finally did it. I found my way into the door of being a mental health advocate and coming out of this wardrobe.” I reviewed the email several times to make sure I had the details right. And I realized how it was addressed. Dear Mrs. Lulu Sunshine,
I’ve been writing under the pseudonym “LunaSunshine” for awhile now. Most have come to know me as Lulu, just a cute nickname that seems to fit perfectly, as if it were meant to personify me in realm. It was worked out fine until this moment. I have realized that if I want to get serious in the world of mental health advocacy through my writing, then I had better get a decent pseudonym that allows me to be professional.
Therefore, after much consideration, I am changing my pseudonym to something proper enough to be seen on a website or book.
I have decided on Tallulah “Lulu” Stark.
I have origins for this. The name Tallulah has Native American origins in Georgia. As do I. The translation means leaping water, perfect for describing my own nature as fluid, changing states and shapes. Tallulah is also of Gaelic origin, as am I. The translation in Gaelic is abundance, princess, lady. I am no princess, for sure. But, I am a woman with an abundance of emotion, that carries a wealth of experience.
Stark has a few meanings. It can mean grim, representing depressive states. It can be beyond reasonable limits, extreme, and the perfect representation of the hypomania. And of course, it’s a play on the cliched phrase, “stark raving mad”.
There will be a few changes. My email will change to reflect the new pseudonym. email@example.com is the new address. Until everyone is used to the new address, I will have the old one forward into the new one.
My facebook is changed as well. I will move Pendulum’s page over there tomorrow. For now, add me on Facebook.
I will wait awhile to change the avatar. To allow for the transition. Please, continue calling me Lulu. Nothing has changed in that realm. I wanted to put the word out there.