Radio Silence Breaks


It’s been five days since my last post.  I realized the huge gap in posting and attempted to write something on the bus on the way to work quickly.  That ended in my phone crashing the app and me seething over lost work.  So, here’s an update on the RL that’s been eating my Lulu life.

Saturday, October 15, 2011
That was the day we held T.D.’s third birthday party.  The morning started out with a breakfast buffet at Eat N Park.  T.D. is an incredible eater.  What made the buffet worth it was the fact that I knew he would eat an adult portion, though C.S. and I may not have.

C.S. and I put T.D. down for a nap when we came home.  Then, we feverishly cleaned the house before our guests arrived.  It’s not as if we keep a dirty home.  In the past week, I’ve been sick, so the domestics got a little behind.  Really, we could have gotten it done in about an hour, but we opted for the deep clean.  I won’t bore you with the details.

T.D. had a lovely party.  His Grammy (my MIL), Poppop (my Dad), and his Grandma (my mother who he actually calls “Gram”), all stopped by to open presents and have birthday cake.  The rest of our guests weren’t able to come until later due to other obligations.  But that was fine.  T.D. considers our friends to be his friends, too.  He has his favorites, and they all managed to make it.  He really loved it.  And I’m so happy that he had such a wonderful party.

Saturday, October 16, 2011
This is my little dedication to the birth of T.D..

We all must have partied a little hardy and woke up later than usual.  We were sitting at the breakfast table when I noticed the time.  I said, “At this time, exactly three years ago, Mommy was hooked up to all over her IV’s.”

I had an induction with T.D. at 38 weeks.  My pregnancy was riddled with problems.  Most of them were normal pregnancy symptoms – acid reflux to the point of vomiting, migraines, etc.  When the doctor asked that Monday morning if I was ready to have the baby on Thursday, I was overjoyed!  There’s nothing I wanted more than to not be pregnant anymore.  My stomach was so big that I couldn’t even lean forward anymore, much less bend down.

I also had more threatening pregnancy problems.  I had placental problems and cervical dysplasia at the time.  Additionally, I’m a small woman.  There was an issue with narrow hips, and the question as to whether I was going to be able to deliver naturally.  On his last ultrasound, T.D. was about 6 and a half pounds and his lungs were fully developed.  It looked like we were ready to go!

A little later in the early afternoon, while relaxing with some television, I noted the time again.  I said, “At this time, Mommy got her epidural that didn’t turn out so well.”

The doctors and nurses urged me to schedule my epidural ahead of time so that I wouldn’t miss my window of opportunity.  Personally, I didn’t want to get it until it was absolutely necessary.  However, since I had to schedule, I had little choice.

They cleared everyone out of the room, and I panicked.  I begged for my husband to be allowed to stay, but it was hospital policy that no one remain.  Apparently, some had fainted at one look at the needle.  I was scared.  I tried to remember what other women had told me; “By the time I got the epidural, I was in so much pain I didn’t even feel the needle!”  But I felt it.  I screamed when that needle was shoved into my spine.  The nurse and doctor were jerks about it.  “It couldn’t have hurt that bad.”

We hung around in a silent room for awhile.  Finally, I asked, “Why are we waiting around?”  It was hospital policy that the doctor and the nurse administering the epidural wait for fifteen minutes in case something happened.  Nothing did happen, and everyone was allowed to come back in.

It wasn’t even ten minutes before something did go wrong.  I kept telling C.S. that I felt like I was going to vomit.  I was spinning and everything blurred.  A hazy black formed around the edges of my vision and enclosed in while voices seemed to drift away.  In my mind, I thought, “This is what dying feels like.”  I was brought back to with a shot of adrenaline.  The epidural caused my blood pressure to tank out and I lost consciousness for just a moment.

Later on, more toward the evening, I noticed the time again.  I mentioned, “This was the time that Mommy’s epidural wore off.”

My doctor and nurse expected me to have delivered around dinner time, and we had gone past that now.  I was in absolute screaming agony and begged that my nurse get someone to give me more medicine.  She told me to wait.  Wait?!  Wait for what?!  Finally, my screams attracted enough attention to get a boost of epidural.  It was a relief, but not enough to bring the pain down to a manageable level.

And this is where my memory gets a little fuzzy.

There was a clock across the room and a TV underneath of it.  I was keeping time based on both the TV programming and the clock.  I could have sworn that the doctor came in and told me around 10 that we were going to do some practice pushes.  I know that’s the time that they cut me off from the epidural.  But C.S. seems to think differently.  To say the least, T.D. was born into this world after between 45 minutes and an hour and a half of pushing labor.  They told me, “He’s out!  He’s out!”

“I know.”

They rushed T.D. off to the little cart. I didn’t hear him crying at first. I asked, “Is he OK?” They assured me he was fine. But, I didn’t hear him. It was the longest minute of my life, but I finally heard his voice.

Today, T.D. is alive and well. And my hips remained two inches wider.

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4 thoughts on “Radio Silence Breaks

  1. I am glad to hear that T.D. had a wonderful birthday. But I am sorry to hear of the horror you went through to bring him into the world. Doctors and nurses can be real jerks and they should have some of the procedures done to them that they do to us. I’ve had a spinal tap and two cortisone shots in my spine over the years. I can tell you: yes, it does hurt that bad! It’s not the worst pain of my life (that’s waking up after an open hysterectomy) but it’s up there. I’m sure that memory was difficult for you to relive. Here’s a hug for past days. 🙂

    • It was kind of bad, but in a way, it was good. It was one of the worst and yet one of the best days of my life. Strange, huh? I mentioned this on your site, but I had this awful labor nurse. I could tell that she was fresh out of nursing school and clearly didn’t have any children of her own. She was snotty, mean, and lazy. When the epidural wore off, she insisted that it was impossible. Yeah, right, I really want more drugs, that’s why I’m screaming. Who in the world would want more epidural when theirs is working fine?

      Anytime I needed anything during the delivery, she would take her good old time. My husband would have to constantly walk to the nurses station to get her.

      During the delivery, she pushed my left leg back too far and popped my hip out of place. I didn’t know this until the epidural wore off completely and I was mobile again. It took three months before it stopped constantly popping out of place. That’s not to say that it doesn’t do it sometimes. And every time the weather changes, I feel it. I detest that girl.

      But she got it back. I was still immobile after the delivery due to an epidural needle in my spine. She was taking her good old time getting a doctor down there to get it out. This is graphic, so if you have a weak stomach, you might want to pass. Anyway, I told my husband after the delivery that I had to go number 2 really badly. It was very urgent, and he buzzed the nurse about a half a dozen times. Finally, he went down to the station to get her. As soon as the door knob clicked, my bowels let loose. For a moment, I was embarassed. But then I thought, “The damage is already done. Go for broke!” and I crapped all over that girl.

      So I got a bum hip and she got the forever memory of how she didn’t get to the scene soon enough, got crapped on, and then had to clean all of that up while I laid there because I wasn’t allowed to move. Ha!

  2. I started this post out longing for Eat’n Park, and ended it even more convinced that I will never have children (just when I think I can’t be any more certain. . .).

    I know it was completely worth it to you, and I’m sure if it ever happened it would be to me as well. And I don’t have the narrow hips to contend with, either. I have another friend who is very small – her daughter was nine five, ruptured Mommy’s pelvis, and they thought Baby had broken her shoulder on exit.

    But now you have a wonderful, handsome, three-year-old little man to show for it! So that makes everything else unimportant, really. 🙂

    • Well, I never meant to deter anyone from having children! It was bad for me, but it’s not always that way. I’m just glad the doc had the knowledge to get him out without harming either one of us.

      I have never known this kind of intense love before I had my son. It’s beyond anything I’ve ever experienced! And it gave me a love for children I never knew I had before.

      Children are magnificent creatures. It’s just amazing the way they grow and develop from infants, to babies, to toddlers, to preschooler, and on and on. My only hope is that I can point them in the right direction.

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