As the Pendulum Swings
Self-harm
A Promise and a Contract
I ended up telling him about the contents of A Sweater Worn Too Thin. (If you still need the password, please leave me a note and I’ll email it to you. Beware, it has some serious triggers in it.) It was at the very last moment of our night. I said to him, “Wait, before … Continue reading
Protected: On the Inside : DBT and Talk Therapy
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Protected: On the Inside : Life After Abuse
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Protected: Impatient Inpatient
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I’m Going To Give All My Secrets Away
Foreword: Trigger Warning! The following topics include very sensitive subjects. If you suspect that you may have a trigger contained within, please refrain from reading. Reader discretion advised. Blink. Blink. Blinking away. The cursor sits at a standstill while I stare ahead, poised, awaiting the words to flow out of my mind, through my arms, … Continue reading
A Blog-o-versary!
I am in serious shock. Aside from my personal journal, I have never kept a project going for more than a year. Truthfully, I can’t take all of the credit. If Pendulum didn’t have an audience, I would have been discouraged enough to abandon the blog. If I didn’t have such wonderful friends here, I … Continue reading
Sorting It Out
I have always felt like I had a “base mood”, which is the state I’m in. Depressive, hypomanic, stable. I noticed that there was kind of an “atmospheric mood”, which was a wispy, temporary mood state that would come through. I’ve always characterized this as weather. This emotional weather is just about as predictable as … Continue reading
Owning It
I had never considered Borderline Personality Disorder. The term “Personality Disorder” carries so many negative connotations. It assumes that it’s a defect of someone’s personality. That in itself assumes that a person can just snap out of it, or just change it. BPD gets such a bad rap in the media. I thought of “Fatal … Continue reading
Working Up To It
I have always thought of myself as a pretty open book. I don’t flat out lie. If I am asked a question, I will always try to answer it honestly and to the best of my ability. Any misinformation is either from a miscommunication or an accidental omission. I have been having symptoms far enough … Continue reading
Theories on the Development of Disorder
When something, an emotion, an urge, an impulse, is so severely suppressed that a person becomes oppressed, we can often observe extreme opposite reactions. This is consistent with the laws of physics and the universe, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” Except, one thing. I believe when it comes to emotions and behaviors, … Continue reading
Trigger Warning
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